Breathing in Life: A Prompt on Gratitude

A wise old woman comes up to you and asks you the age-old question:

“Are you happy?”

It’s a simple question but it may throw you off.

“Define ‘happy,’” you may feel compelled to respond.

It is not easily defined and sometimes, even more difficult to feel.

So, what would your primal response be?

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Happiness is undeniably the most grand commodity on the planet yet it is often ignored as a priority in the modern, quick-paced way of life. It is truly the motive behind all we seek- yet somewhere along the lines it got skewed and covered in distractions and materialistic goods. For some, the theory of happiness is simple. And for others, happiness has no true or lasting form.

Happiness is an odd concept. Universal, yet mysterious and hard to grasp. I myself have many questions on the matter, so I felt the need to dig in and get to the heart of it (and I encourage you to think about your own answers to the questions below).

For the past few weeks, I have been studying how people around me respond to the theory of happiness & how they show (or don’t show) it in their daily life.

First, I wondered: What are the outward signs of happiness?

Does internal happiness translate to outward cheerfulness all the time?

My thoughts are: not in particular. Moments of frustration, exhaustion, and moodiness are not the death of happiness. Rather, I think our times of feeling overly sensitive or triggered are a good place to start to find happiness.

Happiness is highly internal. Yet, it guides our actions and relationships.

So, who labels themselves as a happy person?

I don’t think there is a summation formula: “if you feel happy x amount of time, you are a happy person.” I think in happy people, there is a peace underlying most moments and an appreciation for all of the tides of life.

Signs of unhappiness are in every corner: from the rise of anxiety and excessive worriedness, to the small scale road rage, to horrifying news of war. Does this mean the world is unhappy?

If you look closely, you can see some beautiful moments and celebrations but a good portion of the world does not emanate happiness as often as we all would hope. We are all breathing and learning and thinking and loving and have so many possibilities in life ( I know, I know- the optimistic side of me is showing). In that perspective, happiness should be easy to come by. But, I think we are often bogged down by our worries and don’t allow ourselves to be uplifted from all the immense beauty we stumble upon.

Some pervasive and universal worries being:

•  “Am I safe?”
• “Am I beautiful enough?”
• “Am I successful enough?”
• “Am I healthy enough?”
• “Do I have enough money/ material things?”
• “Did I say something awkward?”
• “Am I connecting with the people around me well?”
• “Do I utilize the resources available to make the most out of my time here on earth?”

We can easily feel like our problems are our true selves- essentially defining ourselves by our limitations. And with all these worries, we wonder…

Are we supposed to suffer, fear and stress and find only small respites away from it all?

Essentially, would your answer to the old wise woman’s happiness probing be conditional… A “Yes” only if she asked you in the small window of time that your worries don’t feel so burdensome? Is this our fate- a life of toils and worries with a small percentage of our time being happy?

Or is life far more deep and profound than that? Is life actually as simple as choosing happiness by drawing a line in the sand from our souls and our problems.

Where did we over-complicate things so much so that we can hardly see past our worries and into the beauty of the world?

These questions led me to organize my own practices that I have cultivated over the years on the matter of happiness. Happiness needs to be chosen every moment; so there is no magic bullet. Yet, the beautiful thing is that happiness is accessible to everyone. The difference between happiness and unhappiness lies within your mindset and conditioned thought processes. It takes a huge shift to rewire your brain but it becomes second nature if you practice it daily. Besides, what you get in return is monumental: simple, ecstatic joy in living.

Practice #1: Impermanence and Equanimity

Impermanence as a frame of mind is detaching from outcome control. It is knowing that everything ends, begins, and changes in its due time- that nothing is permanent. Equanimity is the practice of staying balanced among perceived negativity. The goal is to be fluid in the many unfolding paths of life. These two practices will add playfulness and lightness to your life.

Practice #2: GRATITUDE

I have heard that the highest vibration a person can have is through gratitude. Rhonda Byrne states in her best- selling book “The Secret,” that waking up with gratitude each day can alter your whole life. The more you appreciate your life, the more abundance comes your way.

You can practice this by detaching from the constant cycle of comparing to others and desiring ever more than what you already have (more material goods, better relationships, better job). By waking up every morning and stating at least one thing you are thankful for. And as you get more comfortable with this practice, think about how grateful you are throughout each and every day.

Practice #3: Step out of our addictions and distractions

The goal here is a two- fold: consume less, stop looking for external validation, and get out of your comfort zone.

While also: creating more, following your passions and paying more attention to the beauty of the world

There is so much misleading information and false senses of happiness. Instead, listen to what it is that truly lights you up because that can be a clue to what you truly need in your life.

Practice #4: Be curious instead of fearful

Being judgmental is a form of fear- a fear of the unknown and novel. Judgement blocks off all the channels that you can learn and grow in.

Instead of constantly labeling and judging the people around you and the experiences you are having, foster a healthy sense of curiosity. You can use the phrase “that’s interesting” instead of “that’s weird” or “I don’t like that.” Strive to learn more about the world. Who knows, you may start enjoying the things you once judged.

Practice #5: You can learn from everyone, but in the end you are the only expert in your life

“Everyone is a teacher, everything is a lesson” – Sushil Jain

If we let go of some of our ego and truly listen to the continual lessons in life, rather than feeling challenged or the need to dominate the situation, beautiful things can open for us. I like to think of my life as a classroom. That I am just learning and feeling out what resonates with me. This mindset takes the harshness and the strive for perfectionism out of daily life. While I wholeheartedly agree with this, there is such a thing as “bad advice.”

Any advice that teaches you to disconnect or disengage from yourself or purpose is bad advice. Deep down, you always know what is right for you.

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Our thoughts can either hard-wire our brains to become narrow-minded and negative …

Or they can be a road map to an expansive life of deep wisdom and exploration.

True happiness at its core, is personal and deep within. It can be found when you are walking in the cold or somewhere on a beach. When you are working hard towards something or when you are taking a well- needed rest day. When you are contemplating in solitude or surrounded by people. It can be found in the most unlikely of places and if anyone tells you that “no one is truly happy,” know that it a load of BS. It can be accessible to anyone and everyone.

There is no shortage or scarcity of happiness in the universe.

I would love to hear what makes you truly happy. Feel free to comment below.

Thanks for reading!!

xoxo