How to Cope with Seasonal Depression

I used to get it so bad that it would start in late July. It began as a draining sense and transitioned to a sinking heart and a settling in my bones. This, I named poetically “the impending doom of darkened days.” Each year around this time, a wave of realization would come over me: the sunshiny, fun loving days of summer would soon turn into cabin fever and extreme boredom come winter. I fed into the thought: if I resisted winter, I could stop it from happening. From there on out, a mini panic attack would arise every day until daylight savings. This time change into seemingly perpetual darkness would mark the beginning of dread for me and the beginning of my descent into the realm of a snippy hermit. I told myself, this is just who I am. I am an active, outdoorsy person and I saw winter as the enemy- a force that tried to stop all my passions of running, swimming, and nature walks. I was complacent in this arch-nemesis “fact” and often blamed my parents for not moving us to Florida (sorry ma and pa!). ‘See, it was just my location that was the problem, not me,’ I would think… This was the norm until one year, my dysphoria got even worse.

The dread promptly appeared at Daylight Savings Time of 2014, as it always did. But just as swiftly as the time change, I lost interest in everything that I usually identified with. I went from being a cross country and marathon runner, averaging about 12 miles a day, to not getting out of bed for most of the day. From excelling as an honors student to nearly failing most of my courses. From drinking kale smoothies on the reg to eating a sleeve of cookies from Rite Aid in the car because I couldn’t wait long enough to walk up to my apartment. I went from getting up at 5 am to exercise at the gym before the crowds to not being able to fall asleep until 4 am every night. Occasionally, I would wake up to the crumby evidence of eating cookies in my sleep. To say I lost control would be an understatement. And worst of all, I isolated myself from everyone around me.

It was beyond scary to lose hope and control in myself, to be trapped as a passenger in my own body. After gaining 20 pounds in under two months, loosing friends, and failing courses, I knew that I needed help. I knew I now had to fight for my sanity and for my health.

I reached out to my mom for help and she immediately sprang in action. I remember this phone call as clear as day. I called her after one of my night classes in the beginning of the spring semester in early January. And although I only gave her a part of the story (and didn’t get into how severe it felt), she took it very seriously. The next day, I received a Happy Light at my apartment and discovered that I had SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Identifying the problem gave me the opportunity to get a better understanding of these feelings and possibly to work with them rather than just falling victim to them. This started a cascade of events that were imperative to me lifting the heaviness of SAD.

The next week, I sat down and contemplated about my life and its direction- one thing was for certain, this was not going to be my new normal. I discovered that I wanted to study abroad in the summer and that became a new motivation for me to get my grades back on track and my life in order (and then, coming full circle, was the inspiration for creating this blog). I also planned a new workout schedule focused on listening to my body- rather than pushing it into extremes. I did what felt right and shed a lot of what I thought I “should” be.

I vowed to never let winter have that much control over me. Importantly, I stopped ruminating and placing copious amounts of significance on winter and just tried to find simple pleasures each day. Rather than treating this dark and chilly period as a loss, I shifted my focus on what I could gain from this quiet, introspective time. Amongst the difficulties came a major shift in my being that winter- out of being a somewhat oblivious adolescent and into a much more aware and conscious adult.

Author and social justice activist Christine Caine said: “Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted” and that quote has always stuck with me when I am going through rough times.  

As much as I could go on and on about larger mindset shifts, I believe there are more simple shifts that can loosen the burden of SAD and bring some lightness and joy to your day.

The following is a list of 15 activities and items that I have helped me immensely over the last few years:

1. Get a happy lamp

Phytotherapy, or light therapy, utilizes full spectrum lighting to mimic the same wavelengths as sunshine. Through this, your body may release more serotonin, like it does with sunshine. Serotonin is deemed as the “happy hormone,” because it is responsible for regulating your mood and energy levels.

2. Get a daily meditation routine

Meditation clears your mind. It brings you to an internal state that is relatively stable, a sweet nothing, that is always available no matter the time of the year. A ritual or routine in and of itself shows great benefit for emotional resilience but when coupled with meditation, it can completely change the way you respond to stressors.

3. Journal

Self-awareness and self-reflection is imperative to living a healthy lifestyle. By daily journaling, you can be honest with your emotions and begin to understand misalignment before it takes control or catches you off guard.

4. Source your dis- ease through Chakra work

Chakras are seven energy centers that are situated in the body and rooted in emotions and different facets of life. The chakras start at the base of your spine and end at the crown of your head. Each chakra has associations of colors, foods, yoga poses, mantras, intentions, and practices that help you balance them. I often refer to a chakra chart when trying to understand and troubleshoot any misalignments.

For an in- depth look at each chakra, check out this post.

5. Call a friend

We often dismiss the power that a good conversation can have. It is easy to say that we are “too busy” or “too tired” to reach out to someone but connection is a tool that is free and has lasting effects.

6. Watch something overwhelmingly sweet, funny, or reminiscent

To incite fiery, creative, or emotional swells within the audience is the sweet Pathos that artists are always trying to shoot for. It starts as something external, another’s creation, but is digested and sensed internally by the viewer- literally creating happy emotions within us. We all have those movies that just do it for us. Recently, it was watching the new Lion King movie. After happy- crying about 10 times throughout the movie, I found myself uplifted, inspired, and warm- hearted.

7. Get out of your own head

The world is so vast. There is so much to it and so much to learn. It can be refreshing and exciting to get lost in a good book, podcast, or documentary.

8. Volunteer

It is basically universal law that helping others will bring a cascade of more positivity in life. It may also help put your situation in perspective, align you with the greater good, and be more aware of all life’s blessings.

9. Plan big

Sometimes winter can feel like a halt to all things productive; but really, it is the perfect time to plan. Winter is my time for planting mental seeds and planning for future endeavors.

10. Find some winter activities

The unique cold and darkness of this time comes with unique hobbies. If you are craving something active: try skiing, sledding, or ice skating. Or, make the most of being stuck inside with some arts and crafts.

11. Do some inversions throughout the day

Inversions, such as handstands or rag doll, increase blood flow to the brain and give you boosts of energy.

12. Set the clock for 10 minutes of movement

This is one of my favorites for boosting joy and energy. I blast some music, set the clock for 10 minutes, and dance my wild heart out. You won’t believe how freeing this exercise is. You also get a great work out in just 10 minutes.

13. Limit anxiety inducing foods or drinks

Yes, this is alcohol, caffeine, and drugs. They are the things that give you instant ups but reap your next day’s energy and dopamine levels, which cause anxiety and worsened moods.

14. Bundle up and get outside

If you push yourself to brave the outdoor temperatures, you may see that life is just as rich and interesting in winter as the other seasons. Nature does not stop because you feel trapped inside.

15. Cute-ify your space

Your external environment can absolutely change your internal environment (obviously or we wouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place). Having a warm and uplifting space will reflect comforting emotions within. Decorate with candles, Christmas décor, and pictures to make your space comfortable and homely. For me, my home comfort is directly correlated with how many twinkle lights I have on. Twinkle lights give me a preternatural amount of joy. Like you wouldn’t believe it- or maybe you can if you give them a go.

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Depression is partly a hormone imbalance; but, for me, it was a huge mindset imbalance. After this fateful and terrible winter, I started to shift my focus and intentions. I traded resistance for presence. Instead of constantly wishing winter would disappear, I embraced it. I now revel in the cycles. In summer, I know it is time to be social, active, energetic and explorative. In the axillary seasons of fall and spring, I appreciate all the changes in nature and try my hand at new experiences and gardening. In winter, it is time for my creativity to flow freely. I am a prolific writer, reader and learner at this time and I truly cherish that. Through embracing these cycles, I also embrace the multi-dimensionality of myself. I no longer identify with just the Heather who pushes her body to the limits. I am much more than that. Now, I have a healthier attitude towards fitness and no longer feel the need to be constantly extreme.

For some, a change of atmosphere can suit them perfectly but for me, Pittsburgh is where my home is. After 20 years of being disgusted by the dreariness of Pittsburgh, I started to open my eyes to all the beautiful and overlooked things right in my backyard. I enjoy travelling to far off lands but am proud of the place I grew up and recently made a home with my husband.

I don’t go as far to say that there is a silver lining to every depression story. The truth is, it is damn difficult to struggle with these issues and there are many facets to everyone’s story, to which mine is just one of the millions. Moreover, this story can be drastically different for other forms of depression. Depression can range from mild to life threatening, seasonal to lifelong. If you are feeling any of these symptoms, you should absolutely talk to a health care professional. Irrespective of the type or severity, I wholeheartedly believe that diminishing the burdens of SAD, anxiety, depression, etc requires a multidimensional approach and it starts with being aware and attuned to your feelings.

Personally, there were some beautiful things that bloomed after I hit rock bottom but that is not always the case.  Even amidst the positive changes, winter is and always will be a sensitive time for me and it requires a lot of self- care for me to stay on top of my mental health. Depression is surely not a one and done or one- size- fits- all treatment. Each year comes with new challenges and new solutions.

And without my mom, I may still be in this terrifying cycle of worsening SAD.  I am eternally grateful for her continual open arms and ears. We need to be our own advocates but if each of us can lift some of the burden from our peers, loved ones, and community members- which may be as simple as providing a safe space to talk or at least normalizing and being honest about these shadows that MOST of us have– depression may not be such a lonely and seemingly hopeless time. And most importantly, if someone tells you they are struggling, take it seriously.

If you have any other helpful tips on SAD, please drop them in the comments below!

Thank you for reading! Xoxo