What does it mean to be your True Self?
It can be difficult to discern from the labels that society puts on you. And unfortunately, we often have preconceived ideas of ourselves that guide our actions more than what we truly believe or feel. The Self knows the secret to being happy; but often watches your ego and consciousness grapple with the outside world. It awaits your return… the times you are silent enough to hear it.
Think of all the ‘Selfs’ you were over your years. Where you were in life, what you enjoyed, who you loved, who your role models were, what you stood up for. You may hardly recognize the person you were five years ago. We are all a gradient of qualities that are sometimes fully expressed and sometimes dull pointed. The expression of these qualities is due to your personal evolution and convictions, cycles, confidence, and moods.
Reflect on how your current environment withholds and limits your internal qualities. How fear occasionally steers you: the fear of not being well-liked. The fear of disagreeing with someone. The fear of people seeing your True Self. In astrology, this quality is your moon sign- the quality buried underneath judgement and manipulation from outside sources, or most often, buried under self- imposed restraints.
In the cult classic book by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, “Women Who Run With the Wolves,” there is a chapter called “Homing: Returning to Oneself.” Dr. Estes recants the folktale ‘Sealskin, Soulskin,’ which warns of the dangers that arise when you leave behind your true nature. A life of burying, or losing, yourself can lead to exhaustion, confusion, and eventually, a downfall of all that makes us lively. She says:
“We lose [ourselves] by becoming too involved with ego, by being too exacting, perfectionistic, or unnecessarily martyred, or driven by a blind ambition, or by being dissatisfied – about self, family, community, culture, world – and not saying or doing anything about it, or by pretending we are an ending source for others, or by not doing all we can to help ourselves.”
Our Truest Self is our wild, creative, and connected side. It comes out in times of stillness. Times of ecstatic happiness. In times of dancing. In times of reclaiming our power. In our dreams. In our Art. In our Craft. In times of prayer. In times of reflection. It is within these times that we give ourselves the permission to not be defined.
We can practice listening to the deep and innate Self by creating a safe- zone for it to come out. We are often our harshest critic, so silence this judgmental voice (for maybe the first time in your life). We can open up in art, in our journals, or to a trusted loved one. While spending time with this part of yourself, you may feel a wave of freeing energy wash over you. This is a sign that you are entering the zone of necessary work. The more time you spend with it, the more you will step into your power and shed the restraints you have had placed on you since you were young.. In contrast, the more you bury your True Self, the smaller and harder it will be to find. In time, the effort in trying to uphold the seeming societal consensus about who you are, will take all of your energy.
The best person to be is you.
Being you is sometimes taboo.
Choosing the path to step into your True Self is not always easy; but it is arguably the most important and biggest step in your life. There will be people who will criticize this expression of Self, often because it is taboo to trust and love yourself. Companies will dislike that you are not as easily swayed into buying their ‘self- help products.’ Politicians will dislike that you question their decisions. At first, the general population will dislike that you unapologetically shed the constraints they placed on you. But in truth, society will criticize you no matter what. In the long run, people will start to respect it or maybe even be inspired by it.
As for myself, I know I am innately: expressive through movement, witchy, and have a deep connection to the ocean. I have been this way since birth but got lost for a bit throughout my teen years. My dad and I used to snorkel for literally hours on end and sometimes go a mile from the shore. I feel my happiest when I am underwater and deep within the ocean. I get completely lost (or found?) in dance, sports, and movement. It took a long time for me to completely let loose on a dance floor (to which, I occasionally still struggle with) but it is like magic when I get to that level. Everyday, I do something to feed at least one of the creative sides from my deep Self.
We are all undeniably dynamic so it is next-to-impossible to get a full list of all of the deep qualities we are at the moment (or maybe even themes that transverse a lifespan). In any case, it can be a fun exercise to see what hobbies, feelings, and emotions pop up when you have the opportunity to sit and have tea with your Truest Self.
Take a look-see for yourself